Are your patterns sabotaging your life? Did you know, how you perceive yourself today is strongly influenced by your childhood upbringing? Did you ever consider that some of your current thought and behavioral patterns are inherited from your parents and those people that you spent most of your childhood with? Have you considered, how your thought and behavioral patterns either positive or negative influence of your decisions and life choices?
Thought and behavioral patterns are the internal beliefs, that justify how we perceive ourselves, how we treat ourselves and how behave towards the outside world, namely, situations, people and challenges. These patterns have a profound impact upon our mental and emotional, physical and spiritual health; the four internal structures of our Inner Foundation.
Negative thought and behavioral patterns are originally formed in childhood when we were repeatedly exposed to the same environment, feelings and emotions for a period of time. Something was done to us, we were harmed in some way by those that were supposed to look after us. Derived from our social/cultural upbringing, negative thought and behavioral patterns were programmed into our sub-conscious mind and body at a very young age. Becoming part of us, embedded within the unconscious mind, often operating undetected by us. Today, these negative thought and behavioral patterns are responsible for the outcome of our personal and professional struggles.
The power of your beliefs
Your beliefs influence your decisions and choices, and are the main cause of either, supporting or sabotaging you from successfully moving from where you are today to where you want to be in the future. You may be familiar with common limiting beliefs such as “I can’t, I don’t deserve, I’ll never make it, that’s impossible”. Did you wonder whether your beliefs are getting in the way of what you actually want from your life? You may believe you know all the rules about why things won’t work. You may believe you know all the things that can’t be done or changed. And you measure everything and everyone by your perceptions and beliefs. Often feeling you would fail because deep down your thoughts lead you to believe that you can’t make it, you don’t deserve and you’re not good enough.
Long after we leave our parents’ home, we recreate dynamics that feel familiar to us, in which we need to control others or we are mistreated, ignored, put down and controlled by others. All leading us to fail to reach our goals. It is also, the reason of your often unconscious imposed expectations upon other people.
Have you considered, the reason why you expect people to act in a certain way, is to make you feel safe or comfortable? And did you notice what happened to you, how you felt, when others did not respond according to your expectations? This is when you become triggered and an impulsive irrational behavior can manifest that is out of your control. We normally feel a spike of anger or fear, a “fight or flight response” is triggered toward the person or situation we face at that particular moment.
Have you noticed when you feel under stress or feel threatened? The intensity of your negative thought and behavioral patterns is highly amplified, creating a spike reaction upon your sympathetic system. This is when our “fight or flight response” takes charge of a situation we are facing. Our heart rate increases, the eyes dilate, muscles contract and the face often become reddish, amongst a few other symptoms. The opposite is also true. Positive thought behavioral patterns do interfere with our parasympathetic system, assisting the body to move away from the “fight or flight response” back to its natural rhythm. Enhancing our health, assisting our well-being and achieving goals. Conversely, if our negative thought behavioral patterns are persistent, such they can do more harm than good, disrupting our immune system and sabotaging our mindset and attitude.
Did you know your mindset and attitude are crucial for you to create and navigate a successful happy life? Our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health directly impacts the quality of our life due to how we think and behave and whether we choose act upon and persevere with our intentions and goals. The outside world is a mirror reflection of our internal mindset. What you choose to believe, feel and act upon is either moving you toward or away from your desired future.
Do you trust yourself?
Unfortunately, the reality for many of us is that it’s unclear who we are at our core, what’s really important to us and in which direction we wish to focus our life. Often, you don’t know yourself deeply enough, and because of that, you doubt your choices and actions with regards to important life decisions. Instead, you rely upon the opinion’s others for guidance. However, you may be giving away your Personal Power by allowing others to choose for you. When this happens repeatedly, you may go as far as to lose your identity and authenticity in the process. You may begin to wear a mask to fit in, in exchange for being accepted and approved by others. You may even become angry and develop self-loathing if this behavior continues.
Deep down you feel something is not right but you simply don’t know where or how to begin to rebuild your Inner Foundation and so your life. Your self-worth and self-dignity, instead of evolving, begin to decline, while your self-loathing grows. But shining the light of awareness upon what needs to change, for many is still not enough. They are unable to focus and persevere. Those negative thought and behavioral patterns, left unresolved, potentially manifests as self-sabotage and procrastination. Until one day you feel you have had enough pain! That day, is the turning point moment that you finally set yourself on a powerful journey of inner change and transformation!
Your Hero's Journey
This internal crisis is a natural and necessary urgent wake up call born out of an internal, intuitive knowing that things must dramatically change if you wish to survive and ideally thrive during these coming years. This internal crisis is an opportunity for you to evolve from negative to positive thought and behavioral patterns. A golden opportunity to rescue your self-worth, your authenticity and rebuild a strong Inner Foundation. This is when you decide to focus your effort to develop good mental, emotional, physical and spiritual habits. Your daily habits are key important measurable indicators showing you how you look after yourself and your health and what can be improved. Your sleep patterns, the food you eat every day, how you treat others and how you allow others to treat you, are just some of the key indicators that are framing your current lifestyle.
Everything you do and how you do it, directly impacts your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health – your Inner Foundation. Can that even be possible, that one day you would transmute these negative thought behavioral into positive patterns? The answer is YES! It is possible and we are living proof! This is the hero’s journey of healing your Inner Foundation; your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. Those that are serious about changing their lives, often need structure, support, and guidance.
Many small steps along a path, that on the one hand is uniquely individual in terms of its story elements, but in fact has many overlapping common elements with those that suffer from negative thought and behavioral patterns and a fragile Inner Foundation. As a result of working on dissolving these old patterns, you get rid of what no longer serves (emotional baggage). You create space within you to change, grow and evolve into a new empowering human being that is fully aligned with your authentic self. Being more in control of our thoughts, emotions and behaviors. This is one of the most empowering benefits you will experience leading you into nourishing emotional maturity, self-control and mindfulness.
About The Writer
Luke Hancock is the author of the book Own Your Power. Since 2012, Luke is an accredited Transformational Life Coach with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and since this time has been coaching individuals through their own journeys of personal and professional transformation. Since 2016 he has been delivering professional training and coaching courses to businesses, schools and individuals. Luke is also an environmental sustainability consultant, guiding businesses (employees), schools and communities to reduce their “environmental footprint’ and become more sustainable in their operations.